I had a completely normal life. I was loving it so much. Until one day my mom felt a lump on her chest. I didn’t really know what to think. I mean I was 6 years old so I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I felt bad for her of course but I was still really overwhelmed. A few weeks later she had a scan. When I found out she had cancer I didn’t really know what it meant but I knew it was bad. I knew I had to stay calm but at times I had to just cry and let all my emotions out. After her surgery, I was quite worried because I noticed most days when I came home from school she was in bed. I knew she wasn’t healthy, but she was still my loving mother. Throughout these few years I started to get major anxiety. With school and life at home I just couldn’t think like a normal happy 6 year-old. Trust me, it’s not fun but I was able to get through it. When I went to visit my psychologist she gave me several different plans but only very few worked. After all the talk about chemo and radiation and when my mom was getting treated my anxiety was on/off. I wasn’t able to do sleepovers because of my major separation anxiety (I mean just last week I had my first sleepover in like 3 years.)
In July 2012, my Mom is cancer free!! I’m so excited! I was able to live that normal happy life that I lived 2 years ago! I’m 7 now and I’m FINALLY able to understand this complex disease called cancer. My anxiety started to get better. I mean I still had my main fears but for the most part I was happy. In grade 3 I had A LOT of trouble with my teachers, friends and of course stupid bullies.
It’s now 2015 and I’m in Europe for my 10th birthday! In London, England my mom had some serious back pain. So of course I was being my “anxious” self and asking her “Is it the cancer” and I always got the same answer “No.” After asking for the 30th time and getting the same answer, I chose to accept it. When we got home she wasn’t talking about it so I thought she was okay. In July, on my Dad’s birthday, my Mom had a scan. She came home with a bottle of Ginger Ale in her hand and told me the news. She told me the cancer was in her lungs. But the good part is that it’s not new cancer it’s “leftover” from last time. Treatment was now in full swing and my anxiety was through the roof. I only had one coping strategy, and that strategy is dance. Dance is basically my life. It helps me express all of my thoughts and feelings through art and movement. It’s also really fun J!! Over the past 5 years I’ve been dancing, I’ve had the best teachers and friends who are super supportive of me and my family. They make me feel like I’m cared about and loved.
- Ava